Difficult family relationships in early adulthood_Answer
Posted on Thursday, September 10th, 2015 at 4:43 am.
Your relationship with your father certainly sounds troubled and destructive. The patterns of interaction between the two of you sound very entrenched and will be difficult to change. That is not to say that the patterns cannot change, but they are not likely to get better without some kind of outside help.
I don’t know the details of all the strategies you have tried, but it sounds like they have not been able to accomplish any fundamental changes in the situation. At this point, your best option may be to limit even more the time you spend around your father. I realize that you don’t want to create distance from your mother and sisters but I’m sure this situation is also distressing for them and that they don’t like seeing your Dad treat you this way.
I think the best short-term solution is to spend your time with family in the home primarily when your father is not home and to try to spend social time with your mother and sisters outside the home. You can go to coffee shops, have lunch, attend city-sponsored events or you can simply get out of the house and go for walks with your mother and your sisters.
Hopefully, your mother and sisters will not meet with too much critical behavior on the part of your father, but the responsibility for stepping up to maintain their relationship with you also lies with them, most specifically with your mother. If your family is open to it, family counseling involving you and your Dad or you and your Dad and Mom may be very helpful. Even if your father doesn’t want to participate, support is also available to you as an individual.
It sounds like you want and need to individuate from your family, but also want to maintain a healthy and warm relationship with them, especially with your Mom and sisters. There may not be a lot you can do about your relationship with your father at this point, but you can certainly make efforts to maintain your relationships with other members of your family. Limiting the time you spend around toxic people in your life will enhance your sense of well-being, increase your happiness and improve the quality of your relationships with other family members and friends.
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