As a counselor that handles couples therapy in Loveland, I’ve seen spouses attend sessions for numerous reasons. However, an overwhelming majority of clients list poor communication as a significant issue in their relationships. Communication can be improved, and here are 3 ways to do it.
Find the right time to talk-Often, a client will begin a serious conversation with their partner, but they’ll do it at a time when their partner is tired or stressed. It’s counterproductive having a conversation at that time, since you’re unlikely to achieve the results you want. Instead, pick a time when both of you have the necessary time and patience to discuss and resolve an issue.
Focus on one topic at a time-Couples will frequently use the “clean out the closet” form of conversation, in which everything that’s piled up recently is thrown into the conversation. Emotions run high, numerous issues are raised, but ultimately nothing gets solved. If you’re looking to solve a problem, focus on just that problem and agree to discuss other issues at a later time.
Body language matters-Ever seen children fight? One child hits the other and is made to apologize, but the smirk on their face tells you that they’re not sorry at all? As adults, we do that, too. If you tell your spouse that you’re interested in what they have to say, but you’re playing with your smartphone at the same time, you’re providing an inconsistent message. Instead, try sitting face to face and make eye contact.