You are suffering from a depression that has clearly become disabling in its severity. I have dealt with many people who have experienced depression as severe as yours. This is a dangerous level of depression and you cannot afford to procrastinate any longer on getting help. Some people even experience suicidal thoughts and feelings when they are this depressed, though not everyone does. Whether you are feeling suicidal or not, getting help is imperative.
If your depression is this severe and incapacitating you have a couple of different options. First, you have to disclose your true condition and situation to someone outside yourself. This can be a friend, family member, pastor, a psychologist or psychotherapist (you can find one online or in the phone book or through a friend’s recommendation) or even call a crisis hotline that can connect you with appropriate resources. You can even have a friend or family member or neighbor take you to the Intake Department of a psychiatric hospital or the ER of a local hospital or to do an immediate assessment. In most cases, admission to a hospital is voluntary, not required, unless you are actively feeling suicidal.
You may or may not need to be admitted to a hospital to stabilize your immediate depression and start you on some medication or therapy. Don’t fool around or procrastinate on this issue. It is a serious condition and you are in a serious situation.
If you do need to go to a hospital, you will need to contact (or have the intake worker help you contact) a friend or family member that can check in on your pets. Hopefully, you have someone, even if it is a neighbor you don’t know well, to help out in a pinch. Most people are kind enough to do something for a neighbor or friend in need. Most hospitalizations are quite short these days—usually a matter of a few days—and most programs will help you find and connect with a therapist. Hopefully, you have someone, even if it is a neighbor you don’t know well, to help out with your pets in a pinch. Most people are kind enough to do something for a neighbor or friend in need.
Please know, however, that you probably will not need to go to a hospital to get help. There are both private therapists and county agencies that provide services to those in severe psychological distress. You can usually find a therapist or an agency that can get you in right away or at least quite soon, although you may have to wait for a bit for an appointment if your situation is not an emergency. If you find it too difficult to call, have a family member, friend or neighbor call a therapist or hospital for you and transport you there.
Whatever you do, please know that there is hope for improving your condition. Whatever the reason for the severity of your depression, it can be evaluated and treated, either with medicine, counseling or both. Don’t deprive yourself of the opportunity to feel better and get well. You will be so glad that you made the effort.