People lie for a variety of reasons. The most common reasons people lie are to make things “easier” or to avoid conflict in a relationship. In this case, it sounds like the woman you are dating is lying in order to avoid the anticipated embarrassment of having you judge her as “less than” or possibly reject her because she is not proud of her job. At least that is what she is telling you…which may or may not be true, right?


The problem is that when someone is caught lying, it is hard to know where the boundary of honesty ends and their lying begins. Kids often lie at least now and then in order to avoid getting in trouble for doing something they were told by their parent not to do. Most people mature out of this occasional lying in childhood. Some do not. Frequent lying without remorse (except if you get caught) is a serious psychological problem and is not easily fixed.


At a minimum, the woman you are dating is not OK with who she is and what she is doing in the world. She is choosing not to tell the truth at the start of a new relationship, which is usually an easier time to tell the truth because there is less to lose at the start of the relationship. More red flags appear when you learn that she has also told other smaller lies to support her big lie. Sometimes nice people lie. Lying doesn’t mean the person is not nice, it means the person tells lies.


People who make a habit of lying and building lies on top of lies have strong internal reasons for doing this and chances are very low that they will change. The question you need to ask yourself is, “Am I willing to accept dating a person who lies?” If the answer is yes, keep dating. If the answer is no, run the other direction and don’t look back.