Even the happiest of and healthiest of marriages can go through the doldrums. It is part of sharing everyday life with another person over a long period of time. The stresses of life, health, money, children, and grandchildren as well as larger world issues impinge on our happiness at times. I don’t know whether you have children, but if you do, I am guessing that they are grown and on their own by this time. Often during the child-rearing years and even for many years afterward, many couples focus most of their energy and attention on their children and grandchildren and have neglected to focus on their adult relationship.
Couples who don’t have children can face these same challenges. There are hundreds, perhaps thousands of marriage renewal self-help books on the shelves of book stores. Some of these are very good. There are also marriage enrichment programs, both secular and through churches, and these can also be worthwhile ways of recharging the emotional and physical intimacy within your marriage.
If the issue of “being in a rut” has to do with life routines that seldom or never vary, this is a relatively easy issue to address. For example, if your routine is to get up at the same time each morning, drink coffee, read the paper or news on the internet and watch TV in the evenings, you can easily decide to mix it up with fresh activities.
If you both agree that you’d like to break the routine, you might consider surprising your spouse by taking her out to breakfast at a restaurant neither of you have ever tried before. Or you can take a picnic to a free summer concert in the park one evening a month rather than watching TV. If you look around for travel specials, you may also be able to take advantage of some of the off-season special rates at lodges in Estes Park for a romantic getaway weekend.
Sometimes couples also find it helpful to reconnect with each other by revisiting their earlier shared life experiences. Pull out those photographs of the time you went camping and got caught in an unexpected snowstorm, or pictures and letters from your courtship days and early days of your marriage. It can be delightful to remember those times, reconnect with them emotionally, and laugh together. Laughter is especially important.
Or get really silly and create your own Cialis commercial. Turn your living room into a tent campground for the night (minus the bonfire!) or put a blow up plastic pool in the backyard with tiki torches and pretend you are in a bathtub in the jungle for an evening. The sillier the better. Sharing creativity and laughter is the best way to reconnect with your partner and can spice up a marriage that has fallen into the romantic disrepair.