Many young women in high school struggle with the issue of romantic longing and the desire to be noticed by boys in more of a dating, romantic way. While you may not see it now, you have several things working in your favor. One really good thing that you have going for you is that you already know how to create positive relationships with people of the opposite sex. This puts you ahead of the game in some important ways.


Girls that naturally attract the romantic attention of their male peers and those who work at attracting that attention and are successful may or may not know how to sustain a romantic relationship once they get into one. Friendship is at the core of any healthy relationship, romantic or otherwise. But how do you let boys know that you are interested in more than friendship?


My guess is that most of the boys who are your friends are not necessarily boys you want to date, though one or two of them might be attractive to you in that way. So one thing you could do is let the boys who are your friends know that you are interested in other boys and would like to start dating. You can also ask their opinions of boys you are interested in; sometimes a male friend’s advice can save you from some very unpleasant experiences, such as going out with someone your friends know is a player or someone who has other serious problems.


Don’t be afraid to take the lead in initiating social time with boys you like. You don’t have to ask them out on a date to get your point across (though there isn’t anything wrong with asking boys out), but there are lots of ways to reach out that don’t put you directly in the line of fire for potential rejection. Suggest attending a school event or a set up a group outing to see that latest, greatest movie in town. Get some guidance from both your male and female friends about how to read the signals of romantic interest from a boy and how to send those signals yourself without going overboard.


Finally, like your Mom, I do counsel a certain amount of patience. You don’t have to wait for the perfect guy to drop in your lap, but don’t worry if it doesn’t happen right now. Enjoy those friendships and know that you are building an awesome basis for romantic relationships with men in the future.