At Inner Source, we provide couples therapy to people struggling with their relationships. In many cases, Dr. Firestein works with Loveland, Fort Collins, and Greeley couples who are having problems forming a meaningful connection with each other. This type of problem is not any one person’s fault, and is often easily dealt with by simply making the partners in the relationship aware of it. Here are some tips for forging meaningful connections with your partner.
Hopes and Dreams
It is important to understand your partner’s deepest passions, even if they are not your own. Ask yourself, how well do you know your partner? What inspires them? What are the pursuits that they’ll never give up on? Conversely, what are the things that bother them the most, and how do they relate to their passions? Knowing the answers to these questions can help to avoid conflict, but it can also help you to understand your partner more deeply.
While both partners in a relationship have their own set of dreams and passions, many who seek couples therapy are lacking a common interest that they can pursue together. Choose an activity that isn’t one partner’s forte; instead, pick something that’s new to both of you. Pursuing a common interest fosters cooperation and can lead to incredibly satisfying and rewarding experiences. Making the journey of learning and working together brings partners closer and helps to develop a couple’s storied history.
Paradoxically, every couple needs to spend time apart in order to grow closer together. Constantly being around each other might work for a while, but eventually toes will be stepped on and people will get annoyed. It’s part of being a human being. No matter how much you love somebody, you must give yourself time for processing and solitude. This can be anything from taking a walk alone everyday to going on separate vacations. Either way, spending time away from your partner gives you the chance to think about them, miss them, and appreciate them in ways you didn’t before.